I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
