I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I touched a dick in church today
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
