it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
