ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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