I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
