I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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