you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We left the knife in your bed.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Bring me that man meat
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i believe in u and ur pee
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
