She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
