I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
