He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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