I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
