you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
