Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i drank out of a bidet.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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