She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I need moral support for this bender
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
