Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
