I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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