I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
