You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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