i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize