Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
