we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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