he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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