Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
