My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
God, I missed his penis.
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