Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
