Where did you get a picture of my penis
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
