Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
