I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
