She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
