I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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