Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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