so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
