So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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