How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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