also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
