I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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