I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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