My brain says no but my pants say off.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
