He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i need an iv and a liver transplant
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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