idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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