you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
