dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
