We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
