they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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