Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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