I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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