It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
