I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
