i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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