Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
