Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
