So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
