Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
