dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
