i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
