the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
