I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
