dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
