i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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