I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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